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The David Thuis Blog – Page 275 – Here you can read/hear the ramblings of a pretty boring guy

The Play

Source: www.youtube.com
    Hope everyone had a great day!    

Be careful if you are traveling in the mtns!

Drivers going thru Colorado mountains warned to pack survival kit as blizzard moves in this afternoon: http://dpo.st/eyKyOzless than a minute ago via web

They are watching!

CSPD and 71 other law agencies being Thanksgiving “Heat Is On” DUI campaign tonight. http://fb.me/Bknu3bs6less than a minute ago via Facebook

Have a safe holiday weekend, but don’t drink and drive.  They are watching!

Another TSA Outrage

Shared by David

The sad part is I actually believe this story. I was once detained in airport security (in full military uniform) because inspectors found traces of gunpowder on my ammo pouches.

A friend of mine sent me this about his TSA experience. He, unlike most of us, was coming back into the country from Afghanistan on a military charter.

——–

As the Chalk Leader for my flight home from Afghanistan, I witnessed the following:

When we were on our way back from Afghanistan, we flew out of Baghram Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards.

Our first stop was Shannon, Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to stop at Indianapolis, Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the Indiana National Guard. That’s where the stupid started.

First, everyone was forced to get off the plane–even though the plane wasn’t refueling again. All 330 people got off that plane, rather than let the 100 people from the ING get off. We were filed from the plane to a holding area. No vending machines, no means of escape. Only a male/female latrine.

It’s probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons. Everyone was carrying an M4 Carbine (rifle) and some, like me, were also carrying an M9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of course, the weapons weren’t loaded. And we had been cleared of all ammo well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.

The TSA personnel at the airport seriously considered making us unload all of the baggage from the SECURE cargo hold to have it reinspected. Keep in mind, this cargo had been unpacked, inspected piece by piece by U.S. Customs officials, resealed and had bomb-sniffing dogs give it a one-hour run through. After two hours of sitting in this holding area, the TSA decided not to reinspect our Cargo–just to inspect us again: Soldiers on the way home from war, who had already been inspected, reinspected and kept in a SECURE holding area for 2 hours. Ok, whatever. So we lined up to go through security AGAIN.

This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying pistols.

So we’re in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that they’re going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:

TSA Guy: You can’t take those on the plane.

Soldier: What? I’ve had them since we left country.

TSA Guy: You’re not suppose to have them.

Soldier: Why?

TSA Guy: They can be used as a weapon.

Soldier: [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a weapon. And I’m allowed to take it on.

TSA Guy: Yeah but you can’t use it to take over the plane. You don’t have bullets.

Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?

TSA Guy: [awkward silence]

Me: Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get the f**k out of here. I’ll buy you a new set.

Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]

This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233 people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine guns–but nothing that could have been used as a weapon.

"To All The Friends I’ve Un’ed Before" by Brad Paisley and Darius Rucker for National UnFriend Day

Source: www.youtube.com
    Jimmy Kimmel Declared today National Unfriend Day… Did you or do you plan to “unfriend” anyone on FB today? I didn’t but the night is still young.    

New TSA Style Home Security Measures

I’ve been following the news about the new TSA security measures at airports with some interest.  It has both terrified and filled me with concern.  Since, I am now scared to death about my own and my families security, I have decided to implement the following “TSA Style” security measures for anyone who visits my home:

Since I doubt those fancy “back scatter” machines are available for home use, and I probably couldn’t afford one anyway, upon arriving at my home all visitors must disrobe completely and turn slowly in front of me while I photograph them with my digital camera.

If you are worried about privacy; those who do not wear eyeglasses may wear a pair, and those who do may take them off.  Clark Kent/Superman showed this as an effective way of protecting your identity.  If you feel this measure does not protect your privacy enough, you may opt to wear sunglasses or I have cut out a small rectangular piece of black construction paper you can hold in front of your eyes.

I will immediately delete these photos after the search is conducted, trust me!  You don’t have to worry about me storing these photos or posting them on the internet.  Everyone knows you can’t do that anyway with today’s technology.

If for whatever reason you do not want to go through this procedure you will be subject to a full body “pat down”.  As chief of my home security, I have authorized myself to use the front of my hands and to touch areas around your breasts, groin, and really “pat down” any part of your body I so desire, as long as I desire, in the name of security.  If I find anything I deem “suspicious”  you will be expected to disrobe anyway, so you might as well just go with the first choice.

Just so you know, I don’t profile, but inevitably some “attractive” people may have to partake in a more “thorough” screening process, and some “unattractive” people may be laughed at or have some inappropriate comments made about them.

Refusal to go through this process will result in denial of entry into my home and whatever fine I come up with (It depends on how many of my bills are due).

Almost everyone will be required to go through this security screening process, however there are a few exceptions:

I am not a TSA agent and federal, state and local child protection laws prohibit me from conducting this screening process on those under the age of 18  So, even though this will create a huge hole in my security, those under 18 are exempt.

Additionally, even though I know most violent domestic crime happens between family members, immediate family members are exempt from these procedures as doing this on family would just be gross.  Guess I’ll just have to trust you.

Sure, I know this process will cause some discomfort, and is probably illegal (I’m not a lawyer), but you have to understand I NEED do this.  This is for the safety and security of my family and any visitors to my home.  Actually, come to think of it, as a visitor you should thank me for these procedures as I am keeping you safe.  I am sure you understand that if I don’t do this the “terrorists have won”.

Before you beat me up this was written totally in jest and none of these procedures will actually take place.  Unless, of course, you want them to.